Bellydance

Back in May, when I graduated college, I had this idea that I would become a whole new person.  It's the same idea I had when I started college, and also when I started high school, and probably when I changed middle schools before 8th grade.  I'd be a whole new popular me--no more awkward conversation starters, no more eating lunch alone, and no more baggy shirts ...except I'd always wind up being the same me.  Wait, that whole "wishing I were someone else" should probably be a post all it's own ...

When I graduated college and started my dream nightmare job, I realized that I suddenly had about 72 extra hours in the week.  I had taken up running my junior year of college (and subsequently lost 50 lbs), but I had always hated weight lifting.  In an effort to get more exercise, I decided to try my hand at belly dancing.  1 class a week turned into 2, which turned into 3, which turned into me signing up to perform in the studio show.  My performance is next week.  Wish me luck.

Since I've started belly dancing, I've watched myself progress both physically and emotionally.  I've seen how it's changed my body.  I can see a faint definition of abs under my fat (I need to lose about 50 lbs more), and my biceps and triceps are toned (yes, I have experienced the elusive tricep toning).  I've become more confident, and I'm even willing to wear a mid-drift baring shirt in class.  I've also developed a pipe dream that I'll become a semi-professional belly dancer.

Yes, me.  The one that aspires to be a nurse practitioner.  The pragmatic one that dutifully pays her student loans, then pays extra to the principle because she's trying to become debt-free. The one that NEVER (ok occasionally) wears make-up.  Me.  I want to be a semi-professional belly dancer.

I'm not sure where this dream will take me.  I know I'm dedicated enough that I continue to spend money on classes--month that could go toward the aforementioned student loans--and not mind too much.  And buy belly dance gear. And go watch belly dance performances.  I know I'm willing to perform, mid-drift bared, in front of an audience.  I aspire to make the troupe at my studio, and once there, try to get both teaching and restaurant dancing gigs.  I even practice at home.

 In a way, it's so not me to want to do this.  I never had crazy dreams.  I make pros and cons lists, and make educated decisions.  I'm so pragmatic it hurts.  Which is, maybe, why this little pipe dream is so much fun.

Maybe, just maybe, I'm becoming a different person after all.